Skip to main content

Mask Rage

It’s strange to think that the fate of the nation hinges on a few square inches of cloth. Stranger still to think of the high-pitched controversy surrounding a thing whose only reason for being is to prevent you from dying.

But here we are, precariously poised in the kind of fraught moment only Donald Trump could create. A political fight — literally to the death — over masks.

Have you been in a store lately, where at least one person was not wearing a mask? Have you felt the helplessness, as visceral as it is corrosive?  Have you felt the fury come over you till you’re shaking?

This is mask rage, the completely understandable urge to inflict blunt-force trauma on a person so belligerently bare-faced, they would sashay into a store, engage in aerosolized repartee with someone equally arrogant, and leave everyone else in the store speechless with anger.

Why these bare faces are so determined to risk not just their own lives, but mine as well, is as air-headed as it is terrifying.

I, for one, would not care to be punched in the face by some brain-dead fool who wants to believe I’m infringing on some sort of right. So I stand as far away as I can. Or I leave the store. In either case I seethe.

You can’t take it out on the manager or the sales staff, either. They’re not bouncers. They’re overworked, underpaid, and deeply frightened of infection. And they don’t want to be punched in the face either.

Eighty percent of Americans are on board with masks. The other twenty percent have to be considered dangerous. They’re morally and intellectually toxic. Approach them as you would a rattlesnake. Especially in an open carry state.

This has made me unusually agitated of late, especially as I watch Covid cases spike so insanely. I am trying to think up safe but effective ways to confront, shame, or otherwise get these jerks out of the store.

For example: When a bare face gets too close to you, pretend you’re having trouble breathing. If that doesn’t move him away, say something like “I’m so sorry, but I think I have a fever and I have to take my mask off. Could you help me?” That should do it.

We also have to use our cameras. Admittedly, it’s hard to take a video unobtrusively, and the target could get nasty. And a video without an identification of the bare face would be of limited use.

But what if a few of your fellow customers all took the same video? Ask them. Are they as pissed as you are? On the count of three, everybody shoot.

The target then has to make a choice. She can act like even more of a jerk, which will be nicely preserved on video for sharing with the media and law enforcement. Or she can slink away, back to her crypt.

I’ve also mused on the idea of roving teams — three or four masked crusaders — going into the stores, waiting for the inevitable bare faces, putting them on video, and posting to a social media site filled with similar fools.

But the most drastic idea might also be the most effective. The retailer simply locks the door. Nobody gets in without a mask. Anyone who wants to get in without one goes on video. If he insists on being a jerk, the cops are called, and the video serves as evidence.

How weird is it that we now have to think about these things? We’re up to 65,000 new Covid cases every day, with an untold number of those directly attributable to presidential treachery. How many lives could have been saved by a few square inches of cloth?

It would be so easy for Trump to reprogram his worshippers to wear a goddamn mask. But that’s not going to happen. He’d rather see them die. I know the feeling.


Berkley MI

Tuesday 07/21/20

Comments

  1. juddlesJuly 22, 2020 at 12:16 PM

    I go into a store an average of once per day in Los Angeles County. I never see anyone without a mask. The mask mandate seems strictly enforced. I’m surprised to hear that near you either there is no mandate or the stores are unwilling or unable to enforce the mandate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Left JabberJuly 24, 2020 at 11:36 AM

      We have a mandate, and it's overwhelmingly obeyed. But still, there's always one idiot per store and no store employee wants to stick his/her neck out.

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Gerrymanders, Dummymanders, and Why Panic is Totally Uncalled For

    Panic is sometimes unavoidable, but it’s almost never useful. Which is why we all have to chill about the gerrymander problem and appreciate the position in which we continue to sit. From all indications, the coming midterms will be a wave election, where we can expect people to be voting Democratic in overwhelming numbers. And in a wave election, all bets are off. No district will be safe for Republicans, no matter how cynically it’s been molested by gerrymander. I wasn’t planning to talk about the current orgy of redistricting now taking place in the wake of the odious Callais decision, but then I encountered, in the New York Times, a succession of above-the-fold articles that spiked my blood pressure. Once again, the Times has fallen back on the tired old Democrats-in-disarray model for its framing, the better to scare the clicks out of their readers. Here is one of the headlines, and they’re all in the same vein: Democrats Searc...
2 comments
Read more

The GOP’s YOLO Caucus Tentatively Pokes the Bear

   We now understand that congressional Republicans are not happy, the poor dears. As with everyone who has ever bought anything from Donald Trump, they have buyers’ remorse. Put another way, they sold their souls to Donald Trump, and got nothing from the sale. Trump screwed them on both the buy and sell sides. That hasn’t stopped them from cravenly rubber-stamping anything the Dear Leader wishes, even when they hate the idea. They’ve gone along with the stupid wars, the grifty tariffs, the plummeting economy, the ballooning inflation, the crazy gas prices, the degrading of our arsenal, the looting of our treasury, and the sabotage of our traditional alliances. All of which was fine with them. But it turns out the “Retribution Tour” was a bridge too far, even for the slavishly servile. Trump went out of his way to primary any Republican who ever crossed him, and a lot of long-time rubber stamps will now lose their seats as a result. This was not going down...
Post a Comment
Read more

They Flooded the Zone, Now the Zone’s Flooding Back

  I’m taking this week off, and why not? It’s not like there’s anything happening, like a war or a SCOTUS atrocity or something. Anyway, here’s a repeat from almost exactly a year ago, which foreshadowed just about everything we’re seeing today. What was then a trickle of defectors from MAGA-world is now a deluge of people getting FAFO’d, some surely to death. They’re learning the hard way that they’ve been hornswoggled. Actually, it’s not clear that they’re learning anything, but the Trump regime is reaping the whirlwind, and his idiot supporters are directly in its path. Unfortunately, so are the rest of us.   For nearly eight years, I have regularly ridden my bicycle past a house that has faithfully flown a Trump flag, right underneath Old Glory, without interruption in all that time. The flag has been refreshed over the years — from the original MAGA slogan, to “Keep America Great,” to “Trump 2024”— but the political commitment, and the willingness ...
Post a Comment
Read more